A Prayer to the Head

since I'm not much of a faithful person
(not in the way most want me to be anyway)
I struggle with the idea of prayer
as if some bored omnipotent man
with a beard as long as a model's legs
is sitting in some gilded chair
on a fluffy white cloud
waiting for ME
to humble myself enough
for him to justify granting a miracle
to someone who really, really needs it

but last night under the full moon
I started to think 
about all the peope I love
the people I am grateful for
the fact that I survived this year

and not once due to my own doing
but because of all those who were reaching out to me
trying to save me from the darkness
and the ones who didn't even know or care
but were leading by example
as they headed from their caves
and into the light themselves
staring down their own dark demons

full of alive and well
despite spitting vipers as big as houses
hissing at them
as they stretched their legs to stand tall

afraid no more
(sometimes because they had no other choice)

The abundant reflected light
in the dark of night
was special


but that wasn't what caused me to see what I saw.

What I saw was
that every time I thought of someone close to me - 
my family
my friends
my beloved
my fuzzy
in ever growing circles
reaching further and further out
into my sphere of influence...

a light went on around that person.

a light! really!
A golden white light that pulsed with the stars
and emanated warmth and KNOWING

and I knew, that just for a second,
that persons load... was lighter.
even if they didn't know it was.

I realized, that by...
praying...
for them...
remembering them with love...
I was sending them MY light.

And while I was busy thinking of others,
it was growing stronger, in me.