Outing My Brightest Blessings

It just isn't professional...
But I cannot help myself.
I tried
lumbered under the weight of the boulder I was carrying
whispering through chapped lips and gritted teeth
I mustn't do anything to jeopardize my brand.
as if I have a brand. (yet)
as if my brand isn't me.
as if I could cut off that which makes people seek me out
to try and be some thing business pros want me to be.
as if that works.
I've advertised my business once. Once. and I only did it to support the efforts of a non-profit I was donating my time to. I placed an ad in their annual meeting schedule.
EVERY other client has come to me
over a span of seven years
because they wanted ME.
So they found their way to me.
And I dare to stop doing what I do that makes me worth finding?
So I stopped that nonsense.
And every day I cringe, wondering if closing my correspondence with "brightest blessings" will lose me the job.
I'm finally coming to realize that if it does

it wasn't the job I wanted in the first place.

brighest blessings,
me